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Journal Entry: No Job Should Make You Suicidal

Note: The following is part of the musings of what I've recorded whenever I've had a thought. I'll jot it down in my phone. I've decided to flesh some of it out into more cohesive journal entries. But in some cases, it's already a full-fledged journal entry.    There have been so many moments when everything seemed impossible. I’ve been depressed, anxious, suicidal, and angry. I’m scared, because I’m stuck in this place where I can’t work and can’t get a job. There are still those times like what I felt in December when I wanted to just die. I don’t blame that on the treatment I received on May 18. I put 100% of the blame on management at my former employer for making me feel like I’m worthless. I was raised to work. I wasn't raised to be someone who has to rely on others.  When I think about being disabled, I think about my ex-husband laying around all day watching television and playing video games. He told me once how his doctor said that was all he "cou